We were told that history would be made at WWE No Mercy and by and large,
it was. It was an absolutely crazy night from Allstate Arena just outside of
Chicago, Ill. as the WWE Championship ended up being defended on three
occasions and by two different people.
The show opens with no pyro as WWE Chairman Vince McMahon and RAW General
Manager William Regal make their way to the ring. Inside the ring is a
stand with a big red cloth over it.
Vince tells us that he makes decisions for us and he's going to give us
what we want. A huge "Y2J" chant flares up but he says he's not going to
give us that. He then reveals the WWE Championship (the spinner belt) and
awards the title to Randy Orton. I guess because he was the No. 1
contender?
Orton comes out and takes the title and holds it in the air to pyro in
the background and continues to parade around with the belt for a long
time.
Regal congratulates him but says he will be defending the title
tonight. Regal says that since Orton is the champion, he gets to choose who
he will defend against. Another giant "Y2J" chant. Orton says he knows who
he won't be defending against tonight: John Cena.
Orton rambles on about nothing and out comes Triple H, complete with
water bottle and ring attire to a thunderous pop. He, too, congratulates
Orton on winning the title. Trips suggests that since he has to defend the
title, why not Randy Orton vs. Triple H, right here, right now? Orton
screams out "NO!' and Triple H counters with "I don't blame you. I wouldn't
want my second title reign to be shorter than my first one."
After Vince backs up Orton, Trips runs down McMahon, calling him every
name in the book and in the wisdom of professional wrestling, McMahon gives
him the match right now.
Match #1 - WWE Championship - Randy Orton vs. Triple H
Orton tries to walk out on the match several times but is brought back
each time. Crowd is heavily behind the King of Kings. Triple H controls the
opening minutes but Orton takes over, eventually locking in his dreaded
chinlock, but Triple H fires up with a big clothesline after escaping the
chinlock. Trips hits a superplex, but it only gets two. He then hits the
spinebuster, which also gets two. Orton crawls out of the ring, but is
brought back again. Orton hits the middle rope DDT for two. He then lines
HHH up for the RKO, but it's countered. HHH goes for the Pedigree, but Orton
backflips him. Eventually, Orton is thrown into the ring post and comes
stumbling out where Triple H rolls him up for the three!
WINNER...and NEW WWE Champion: Triple H
Match Rating: 8/10
This is the first time Triple H has held the WWE Championship since
dropping the title to Hulk Hogan at Backlash 2002.
Backstage, Orton is in disbelief and is met by McMahon who looks at him
and just walks away.
Match #2 - Jeff Hardy, Brian Kendrick & Paul London vs. Mr. Kennedy,
Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
This was a tremendous match with a ton of non-stop action. These guys
pulled out nearly everything in the book. This was one of the better 6-man
tag matches I've seen. Bodies flying everywhere. Eventually, Kennedy got
London on his shoulders and hit the Green Bay Plunge for the three count.
Really, really fun match.
WINNERS...Mr. Kennedy, Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
Match Rating: 7/10
Backstage, Triple H runs into Batista and they give each other props.
Triple H runs into McMahon and he says that since they have advertised
Triple H vs. Umaga, they will still have that match tonight and it will be
for the WWE Championship.
Match #3 - ECW Championship - CM Punk vs. Big Daddy V
Punk was taking it to Big Daddy V, hitting a missle dropkick that knocks
V down and in comes Matt Striker to nail Punk and cause a DQ. This wasn't
more than two, three minutes. Totally pointless.
WINNER by disqualification...and STILL ECW Champion: CM Punk
Match Rating: 3/10
Big Daddy V commences a post-match beatdown and stands over Punk with the
belt to a chorus of boos from the extremely pro-Punk crowd. Big Daddy leaves
as Punk is helped to the back by two officials, bleeding from the mouth and
coughing.
Competition #1 - Chicago-Style Pizza Eating Contest - MVP vs. Matt
Hardy
Tazz then MC's another contest between the WWE Tag Team Champions -- this
time it's a Chicago-style pizza eating contest. He then brings out the
judges: Melina and Maria.
Tazz brings out the competitors and MVP guarantees his fans that he will
win. Tazz puts two minutes on the clock and they are off. Hardy picks up
another win over MVP, two slices to none.
WINNER by eating...Matt Hardy
Competition Rating: 5/10
MVP gets a mic and asks Hardy if he is sick, and indeed he is. Hardy
blows chunks all over MVP. For our viewing pleasure, we get two slow-mo
replays.
Match #4 - WWE Championship - Triple H vs. Umaga
Back and forth brawling, but Umaga takes control with a Samoan Drop and
then starts to work over The Game's ribs. He continued to control until
missing the running butt bomb. Umaga ran at Trips again, but was met with a
boot. He staggered back and tried a splash, but HHH moved and Umaga went
flying head first into the top of the ring post. On the rebound, HHH hit the
Pedigree for the three count. The ring post has certainly been Triple H's
best friend tonight.
WINNER...and STILL WWE Champion: Triple H
Match Rating: 5/10
Match #5 - Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio
End comes as Mysterio hits a kick on Finlay as he hung in the ropes. He
then hit a top rope leg drop that sent Finlay to the floor from the ring mat
right onto the back of his head. Referee Jimmy Korderas puts up the "X" and
the crew of doctors come out and put Finlay in a neck brace and stretcher
him out. Mysterio looks visibly upset and starts walking out with the
stretcher. Mysterio gets out in front and all of a sudden, Finlay pops up
and starts beating the tar out of Mysterio as the crowd chants "Finlay
sucks!" I guess we'll call this one a no contest.
Match Rating: 6/10
Backstage, as Triple H is getting his ribs iced, Vince informs him that
Randy Orton is exercising his rematch clause. And the rematch will be
tonight. And it'll be a last man standing match.
Match #6 - WWE Women's Championship - Candice Michelle vs. Beth
Phoenix
There was really nothing to see here. Phoenix wins with a fisherman's
suplex.
WINNER...and NEW WWE Women's Champion: Beth Phoenix
Match Rating: 4/10
Match #7 - Punjabi Prison Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
- Batista vs. The Great Khali
WHAT YOU THINK
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What did you think of No Mercy?
It was great - 21%
It was okay - 18%
It was terrible - 16%
Didn't see it - 44%
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All four prison doors had their minute of being open go, so the only way
to escape the inside structure was to go over. Khali sent Batista down and
started to climb up the structure and made it out of the interior as Batista
finally started moving. Khali started climbing the outer structure as
Batista climbed the inner. Batista had no choice but to leap from the inner
to the outer structure and barely eeked out the race to the floor. Batista
snatches victory from the jaws of defeat to retain his title.
Winner...and STILL the World Heavyweight Champion: Batista
Match Rating: 6/10
Match #8 - Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship - Triple H
vs. Randy Orton
They are really selling Triple H's rib injury, as Orton works the body
with punches. Orton is working the ribs over big time. Orton puts Triple H
down for several near counts, including one of nine after choking him with a
television cable while stretching the ribs out.
They move out to the ECW announce table where Orton nails HHH with a
monitor. Orton goes to hit the RKO like he did to John Cena on Monday, but
the champion pushes him into the next table. Orton makes it up at 9.75.
Triple H hits a spinebuster on the floor. Orton up again at 9.5. Triple H
picks up the steel steps and nail Orton square in the face. I don't think
he's getting up from this one, but he's up at 9.8!
HHH throws Orton back into the ring and grabs a steel chair, but Orton
counters with a kick to the midsection and hits a DDT right onto the steel
chair. Both men are being counted now. Orton is up at eight, Triple H at
nine. Orton pounds Hunter in the corner and grabs the chair and sets it up
and looks for the RKO and hits it right on the chair. Triple H gets up at
9.99 and gives Orton a crotch chop but falls flat on his face. Triple H is
now bleeding.
Orton goes for the soccer kick, but HHH grabs the kick and hangs on and
proceeds to Hulk Up. He hits a clothesline and sends Orton to the outside
and rams his head into the barricade, then into the steel steps then six
times into the Smackdown! announce table. He then throws Orton onto the RAW
announce table, but Orton falls off. HHH goes for the Pedigree, but Orton
counters and slingshots Triple H into the ring post. Orton goes for the
steps, but gets low blowed in the process. Orton's head lands right in the
middle of the steps and the champion slams another chair onto Orton's head.
Orton is somehow up at 9.6.
HHH gets Orton up on the RAW table, but Orton hits a RKO out of nowhere on
the table! Triple H struggles mightily, but can't make the count!
WINNER...and NEW WWE Champion: Randy Orton
Match Rating: 9/10
A great match. These two put on two terrific matches in one night and
really overcame the loss of John Cena to save the card.
This card was a strange bird, to say the least. Opening the show with a
WWE Championship match is, I believe, unprecedented and having it defended
three times on one show might be, as well. Big props to Triple H for three
matches tonight, two of which were damn good. As I said above, the 6-man tag
match was really fun. Those six really seemed to work well together,
especially the two tag teams. The Punjabi Prison Match was largely
inoffensive and have a neat finish, as did the Finlay/Mysterio bout, where
even I was duped.
Now we await the return of Jericho...
Overall Rating: 7.5/10
Send Matt your No Mercy feedback at bishop20@msu.edu. And if you're
interested in mixed martial arts, check out Matt's weekly podcast -- Lights Out Radio.