I learned about infant pottying when my third child was just months old. I knew that I didn’t want go the full-time-diaper route again and was delighted to find a gentle, natural alternative that worked for us.
The basics of infant pottying involve learning your infant’s elimination body language, timing, patterns (in relation to feeding and waking) and/or vocalizations. In addition, many mothers instinctively know when their babies need to go. In short, it’s about communication between you and your baby.
The first hurdle is overcoming doubts and fears. The Western world has been indoctrinated to reject any form of early toilet learning. Our doubts stem from "medlore"– maturational readiness theories which are based on opinion rather than scientific proof. By changing our attitude from skepticism to recognizing our babies’ amazing abilities, we open new doors.
Our fears are also based on old psychology relating to a different toilet training method used in the 1920s–1940s. But with infant pottying, timing is based on baby’s natural rhythms and on communication between mother and baby. There is no punishment, anger or pressure involved. It is a gentle, baby-led approach.
Starting
Anticipate when your infant needs to go, then at that moment, make a watery sound such as "sssss" or say "pee pee" if you prefer. Alternatively, if your baby starts to go while you are observing her, immediately make the "sssss" sound. Within days, she will associate this sound with elimination.
When you think she needs to go, hold her gently and securely over your preferred toilet place while giving your audible signal. If it is near time to go, infants are able to relax those muscles and release their elimination upon receiving your cues. She will soon associate the sound, position and place with elimination. Use whatever location and receptacle are most comfy and convenient.
When?
The ideal time to start is anytime from birth to 4-5 months old. During this time, the first window for toilet learning is open.
How Long?
The average age of completion (where your child rarely has accidents anymore) in the West is around 2 years, although babies have good control of elimination for *many* months before completion. For example, some experience few or no soiled diapers from the day they start in early infancy but may need several more months to master control over urination.
What About Older Babies?
By using a modified version of this gentle practice, it is possible to start after 6 months.
Even after passing the first window, some babies will remain receptive. Others close down and then open up again, but there is no way to know when this might happen.
No matter what age your baby is when you first learn about it, I usually recommend that parents give this method a try for a few weeks, then assess whether you want to continue.
Safety
It is safe as long as parents have the right mind-set. Parents must be relaxed, positive and non-punitive when working with their babies. Forget perfectionism! We all experience misses and even a few setbacks along the way.
Does It Really Work?
Yes, but only with effort. Success does not happen on its own. It takes at least one committed adult and several months of perseverance and practice.
Clothing
Many parents keep a diaper or training pants on their baby in between potty visits, while others prefer to leave their baby bare-bottomed or naked most of the time.
Learning the Cues
Observe your baby closely while watching for elimination clues and cues. Some give clear and obvious cues, while signals from others are more subtle. It may take a while, but eventually you’ll start to notice something that happens around the time your baby needs to go. It might be easier to recognize signs for poos than pees.
Examples
Vocalizations:
Body language
Behavior:
© 2004 Laurie Boucke. Used with permission
