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Mario Smash Football - Review

GameCube by Kristan Reed

23/11/2005 @ 07:15

A small synopsis of our early encounters with Mario Smash Football, accurately, phonetically transcribed from the source tape.

"GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL! GOOoooooaAAAALLLL! Goooooaaaaaal! GUHGUHGUHGUHGUHGOOAAAAWOooooAAAaaaaLLL-AH!" [snip]

Several hours later:

"GOAL. Goal. Goal. GOAL. Goal. Goal. Goal. Goal. Goal. Goal. Goal. Goal. Gol. Gl. G-" Final score after five minutes: 11-4.

Mario Smash Football is about as far away from the defensive war of attrition you get in some modern footy games as you could imagine, and it's utterly berserk. We kinda love it for it.

This idea is hardly new, of course. Over the years we've seen the likes of Red Card Soccer, SEGA Soccer Slam and even FIFA Street carve themselves a slice of the crazy five-a-side market with varying degrees of success. All dispense with the notion of anything as old fashioned as 'rules', and every one focuses firmly on the fun factor. The joys of one-touch passing, bicycle kicks, power-ups, trailblazing power shots, crunching tackles, improbable scorelines, even more unlikely 'shots on goal' stats and the kind of joyous shirt-over-the-head silliness that goes down well between drab goalless draws in FIFA.

Such is the way of things with Mario Smash Football, but you can't help but fall hopelessly in love with it from the first time you chip the ball up to your man and see it promptly dispatched by like an Exocet missile blazing into the top corner. But when you realise it's developed by the same team that brought us the bizarrely unloved SEGA Soccer Slam, none of this disarming brilliance comes as any surprise at all. From the word go, you'll recognise the control similarities and many of the same gameplay principles that made it such an instantly playable game, and is every bit as crazily addictive as that particular lost gem.

The usual suspects

'Mario Smash Football' Screenshot fair

Not strictly fair, but hey.

As is standard issue for any Mario-related sports title, the full multi-talented ensemble make their appearance, complete with their own specific set of strengths and weaknesses. In this case, the usual suspects (Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Yoshi, Wario, Waluigi and Donkey Kong) make an appearance, and each game gets underway by choosing one of them to be your team's captain, as well as one of four 'sidekicks' (comprised of lesser lights Toad, Hammer Bros, Birdo and Koopa) to make up the numbers. Rather vaguely, it's not explicitly clear what their respective strengths and weaknesses are. There are no MK-style stat bars to find out who's best in defence or attack, or who's fast or best in the air. Instead you're told merely, for example, that Mario's a 'balanced' captain. Peach is fast, Luigi is best at passing, and so on. We still don't really know who's best. To make things even more uncertain, your sidekicks have various attack and defensive plusses or minuses. Mainly you'll choose them for entirely irrational reasons. No matter: it's just fun watching this lot strut their stuff on a footy pitch.

To begin with, you'll probably haplessly ping the ball around and wonder why the keeper's capable of saving almost all of your shots, no matter whether you've charged them up first or not. If you're playing against the CPU, you'll probably ship plenty of goals into the bargain, even on Novice, but then it starts to come together. Soon enough, you're learning how to effectively dispossess your opponent and engaging in unstoppable scoring orgies yourself.

Initially you might be content with politely sliding in to gain possession with a few hopeful stabs of the B button. Later you'll decide to resort to crunching violence by hitting the Y button to perform a gigantic 'Big Hit' last ditch shove, but sometimes only a Power Up will do. Performed with the X button, the game gradually rewards positive play with a Mario Kart-esque array of disrupting weapons. You know the type; banana skins, green, red and blue shells, explosive attacks, you name it. Anything to stop the opposition charging in on goal and unleashing one of those dreaded Super Strikes.

Double trouble

'Mario Smash Football' Screenshot bowser

Bowser's intermittent arrival causes even more chaos.

The Mario Smash Football equivalent of a finishing move comes in the form of a deadly, charged-up shot on goal that gains the successful shooter two goals if performed correctly. The catch is that only your team's 'captain' can pull off these deadly manoeuvres (your sidekicks merely shoot slightly harder than usual) and after a second or so of charging, a gauge flashes up, tasking you to stop the needle in the green zone of its two extremities. Fluff your timing and you'll blast the shot straight at the keeper, but hit either green zone and you'll clock up two goals for the price of one.

Needless to say, getting the timing right is even harder than activating the Super Strike in the first place, with the needle rapidly swinging left and back over to the right before you've really had a chance to react. But with practice, it can often make the difference between a win and a defeat as you turn over one goal defeats right at the death.

Finding clear space to pull of these all-powerful shots is no mean feat, either, with so many ways of being stopped. Soon, you'll be pinging pin-point passes, lofting Beckham-esque long balls on a sixpence and trying to sprint clear away from the defenders, trying to thread perfect passes through the eye of a needle (and succeeding) and hitting shots from all angles. With shots generally hitting the target almost every time, each and every game turns into a blizzard of pass-and-move as attack turns into defence in a blink of an eye. It's frantic stuff.

Happiness is a warm gun

'Mario Smash Football' Screenshot luigi

Luigi shelling out his path to glory.

Something you learn very quickly is to shoot on sight and stop trying to craft quite so much, usually lofting the ball in (holding down the left trigger and A), anticipating the run and hitting the shot on the volley. Certainly, the overly-forgiving early difficulty levels make it possible to rack up extraordinary scorelines in no-time, and clearing the game's four main cup competitions holds no fear within hours. But then it's game on.

The previously locked Super Cup competitions provide an altogether sterner challenge that would have even Beckham himself crying home to Posh for solace. Even at the lowest of the three Super Cup skill levels (Professional), the CPU takes no prisoners, laying waste to your defence with a hugely aggressive approach that robs you of not only possession in a flash, but probably your dignity into the bargain. Power-ups come at you thick and fast, previously wayward opposition shots become increasingly unerring in their accuracy, and even getting scoring opportunities to call your own feel like a victory. But despite the tears, Mario Smash Football sucks you in, regardless of whether you've got anyone to play against. With another, even tougher round of cup matches to unlock, with an ever-increasing number of matches to play, there's a ton of single-player encounters to wade through in true Nintendo fashion.

It goes without saying that as a multiplayer game it provides almost limitless entertainment, either in two player head-to-head, or two on two multiplayer. It's truly one of those games that you could (and we did) hand to a five-year-old and expect to enjoy a few decent battles, such is the fluid intuitiveness that lay at the heart of the design. By virtue of this inherent simplicity, there's a slight downside, in as much that you'll have sussed out much of the game's depth within a matter of hours.

Goalgasmatron

'Mario Smash Football' Screenshot defending

Shocking defending from Birdo.

As quickly as you'll get into it, you'll also run the risk of tiring of the endless succession of goals. By feeding the player with endless scoring opportunities, it has more in common with Basketball, such is frenzied end-to-end gameplay. Still, it's definitely a deeper experience than you might initially credit it with. Mastery over the ability to 'fake' when on the ball, for example is still a skill that eludes us, as is knowing the best times to unleash power-ups. Like any good footy game, the real test of its true worth won't become apparent to players in hours and days, but weeks and months. The important thing, though, is that there's certainly enough top-notch entertainment on offer to make it well worth owning - and given the dearth of GameCube titles at this stage it's nigh-on essential for anyone with a passing interest in fun.

Mario Smash Football neatly distils the entire 'fun for everyone' ethos that permeates so many of Nintendo's titles. It's charmingly designed from the ground up to be as fun and accessible as possible, yet despite its astonishing simplicity, it still managed to hold our interest well beyond our expectations. With polished visuals, amusing audio and impressive technical touches adding the final gloss to this excellent, addictive package, it's yet another fine example of why the GameCube shouldn't be written off just yet.

8/10

Read our Scoring Policy

Mario Smash Football is out now on GameCube.

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Talha
23/11/05 @ 07:36
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I am convinced that by publishing an 8/10 review of a non-Microsoft game for a non-Microsoft console on XBox 360's launch day, EG are once again demonstrating their obvious bias against the XBox 360
23/11/05 @ 07:38
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Oooh look, a big lonesome "1" in the ars*!

*average reader score
23/11/05 @ 07:40
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The gameplay videos I saw looked rather nice.
sephy
23/11/05 @ 07:54
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Talha - please dont start people off....

as it is there is already a dodgy reader score...
neuroniky
23/11/05 @ 08:03
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This is one of those games that reminds you of why you started playing videogames in the beginning: because they are FUN. Just like Sega Soccer Slam, this is outrageously fun in multiplayer, and a great if alittle bit short and shallow single player game. And not only the game has an over the top attitude, but it is also very easy to pick up and play (unlike i.e. NBA Street, which is a great game but that needs much more practice to get into). There will be complainers. People that will complain aout the Ninty chars, about the cute looks and about the lack of realism... just force a GC pad in their hands and see what happens.

And, yes, it is obviously a review made to diss the XBoX360, Talha. But, you know, this XMas one could buy an XBox360 and a game of choice, with next gen graphics and previous-gen gameplay (PGR? Do you remember the first game of this series came out with the Dreamcast? And it was... exactly the same as its fourth installment...) and or a GC and ten or more games... many of which are recognized by critics and the lucky gamers that played them as some of the best games ever made... as a famous VG announcer says: "choose your destiny".

P.S. Before anybody says I'm a Ninty fanboy... same reasoning could apply to a Ps2 or an XBox (even if admittedly the XBox has less exclusive killer games), only that everybody and his mother seem to have a PS2 right now, so...
Edited 2 times, most recently on 23/11/05 @ 07:57
TILT
23/11/05 @ 08:09
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Wow... I had wanted to make a witty ironic comment about this surely showing EG to be anti-xboxish, but it seems the fanboys got their rear in gear... with the second comment already! You people are a sharp bunch!
smelly
23/11/05 @ 08:15
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???

I heard/read this game sucked!

I'll wait for the budget release..
Rankin
23/11/05 @ 08:33
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Talha, why not stop visiting/reading the site if you dislike it so much? You sound like a whiny arse.
smelly
23/11/05 @ 08:34
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neuroniky I have to agree to an extent. People are quick to dismiss the cube as "dead" and rush out and pre-order a 360.

For at LEAST the next year (easily) there are more great games to be played on the cube (or indeed the ps2 - i dont count the xb as most of the best games are on ps2 or pc anyhow), than will be released on the 360 in the next year.

And the bonus is, us non-early adopters will get this games cheaper. Then when we DO upgrade, the 360 (if we still want one) will be cheaper, with (hopefully) decent games on it. If it's not, i'll do what i did this gen, and go for the other two.

But unfortunately, gamers see any game which was released more than 3 months ago as "old news" and not worth buying?!? I keep reading gamers moaning there's NO WAY they can afford all the decent chrimble games, and how there is always a drought around summer?!? ERm.. Well why not, during the summer months, buy the games you wanted (but couldnt afford) during the winter months (at a knocked down price)?!? Seems crazy to me.
smelly
23/11/05 @ 08:47
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People have had plenty of chance to catch up on essential Gamecube releases this year, lols.

Note: I also specified ps2.

But then again. Its not as if you need much time to "catch up" on essential 360 releases is it? HA HA
Rankin
23/11/05 @ 08:53
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Just realised Talha's comment may have been a joke, if so I apologise. I hardly read the comments section these days as it seems to have turned into an EG bitchfest. Bias this, poor review that :/
gallow
23/11/05 @ 08:57
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Why is it that this fun footy game has a nice looking pitch yet PES5 has a pitches that look like table cloths and dartboards?
Genji
23/11/05 @ 09:02
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Three Mario reviews on the front page, oh my!
Genji
23/11/05 @ 09:06
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Are you being serious, or just trolling? It would help if you explained your problems with EG. I might take you a little more seriously, then.
NAC
23/11/05 @ 09:11
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Anybody remember Nintendo World Cup on the NES and original Gameboy?
I used to love doing the super overhead kicks from the halfway line and watching the ball fly like a ballistic missile into the net. So has the game play evolved from then as it seems the same?
PearOfAnguish
23/11/05 @ 09:30
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Better than Kameo, then?
djchump
23/11/05 @ 09:30
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Saw some vids of Mario Smash Football on IGN - it did look very amusing, especially with the character voices and sound effects. Just hearing Wario's exclamations while he's playing brought a smile to my face :-)
Genji
23/11/05 @ 09:31
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Hahaha Gouki, I get the joke now. You're just pretending to be an idiot, right?

EDIT: OH NOES, HE DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE

Right?

Also, I'm loving frod's comments, as always. Keep it up!
Edited 1 times, most recently on 23/11/05 @ 09:24
Moonprince
23/11/05 @ 09:34
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" Let the on onslaught begin."

Say what?
Talha
23/11/05 @ 09:39
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@Rankin and Co: I don't believe it guys. Will I have to print 'Sarcasm' in font-20 letters if I plan to make more comments like this? I would have if I knew the programming required....

Get a life - it was meant to be a JOKE. You guys are proving to be surprisingly easy cannon fodder.

@Slurpy: Take the comment in its spirit - I have no plans to be responsible for World War III. As it is, certainly I am not a half-wit here.
Edited 1 times, most recently on 23/11/05 @ 09:31
Decoded
23/11/05 @ 09:45
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I'd buy this if only I had friends :'(

OH THE PAIN
melw
23/11/05 @ 09:49
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Don't know what this game has to do with Xbox, but sow far I've enjoyed it quite a bit. Too bad one of the wavebirds around here got broken so currently it's only a 3 player games at max. but it's still hell lot of fun. Easy to approach but difficult to master, this game actually has lots of tricks you don't notice at first. Need to play still more and unlock more fields / players / cups to see what it's really about but 8/10 sounds like a fair review to me.
Teeth
23/11/05 @ 09:53
#23
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bengalibengali is right - just try reading the comments from top to bottom. Brain rot, guaranteed.
smelly
23/11/05 @ 09:57
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LOL Winding up game nerds is like shooting fish in a barrell.

Its soo easy, it's getting to be just not fun.

Right.. I'm off to laugh at people who've bought a 360 to play the same-old games with prettier graphics.
Genji
23/11/05 @ 10:04
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It's funny, frod. Most of your oh-so-satirical posts are on the Nintendo-related threads. Why don't you spread them around a bit? They're quite valuable.
Ecanem
23/11/05 @ 10:07
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In same boat as Decoded..

/sulks..
Genji
23/11/05 @ 10:12
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Oh! And I thought you had me on ignore. How does it feel to be a troll? Good?
krudster
23/11/05 @ 10:22
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Jebus, what's happening to comment threads these days?
Talha
23/11/05 @ 10:25
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the worst part is, many people think my initial comment was serious and failed to get the joke completely. And now, apparently nobody has read my clarification and the thread is dominated by two giants quarrelling.

Duh!
Dizzy
23/11/05 @ 10:30
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Meh
morriss
23/11/05 @ 10:30
#31
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will buy this game
Sabre
23/11/05 @ 10:34
#32
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As good as Halo then?
Genji
23/11/05 @ 10:43
#33
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Talha, I never take you seriously ;-)
Talha
23/11/05 @ 11:04
#34
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@Genji: Thanks for making me feel even BETTER.

Duh! and Duh! :((
Edited 1 times, most recently on 23/11/05 @ 10:54
technos
23/11/05 @ 11:06
#35
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This game is great. That is all.
Genji
23/11/05 @ 11:09
#36
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I like your comments, though, Talha. You seem like a very level-headed person, not like some people here. There's intelligence behind your humour. I like that.
Talha
23/11/05 @ 11:10
#37
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If anything, Ninty make unapologetically fun games. It somehow comes very naturally to them, unlike other devs.

@Genji: Why thanks man. That made my day. As for the intelligence part, usually it is not bad, but at least today I seem to be one of the smarter people around - shame (don't giggle). And I thought only I couldn't get jokes sometimes, due to English not being my first language.
Edited 1 times, most recently on 23/11/05 @ 11:03
Genji
23/11/05 @ 11:22
#38
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@talha
What is your first language, again? I think I read it somewhere before. My first language is Australian.

Oh, and hi frod!

*waves*
Edited 1 times, most recently on 23/11/05 @ 11:14
Talha
23/11/05 @ 11:24
#39
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@Genji: It is Urdu, actually. Needless to say, I am in fits after reading about your 'first language'.

caligari
23/11/05 @ 12:05
#40
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Talha and Genji, can you guys just get a room ALREADY?!
Talha
23/11/05 @ 12:16
#41
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@caligari: Hey, you are welcome to join us.
caligari
23/11/05 @ 12:41
#42
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Ewww Talha, are you calling me a voyeur?

/grabs his DV camera
Talha
23/11/05 @ 12:52
#43
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Gosh no. I am just calling you.
Genji
23/11/05 @ 12:53
#44
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I'm only interested in his mind, I swear!

/displays heterosexual badge
smelly
23/11/05 @ 12:54
#45
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In fact that's an incredible comment from an obvious Nintendo fan, to be honest.


That's because they make great games. If they started making games for other machines, it wouldnt bother me in the slightest. I'm a fan of nintendo (and sega) games, dont give a flying fig about the hardware (well apart from the revo, but that's because it's doing something different).

Now if any of you sony/microsoft fanboys want to admit to being a fan of their GAMES (and not the hardware).. feel free.. so i can laugh at you.

So ner ner ner ner ner... Have fun with yer endless racing and fps games (which are the exact same with prettier graphics), i'm gonna get this after reading this review (i was put off up until now as it was supposed to be crap).. and then animal crossing ds/sonic rush/etc etc.. Fun fun fun!
weaselrat
23/11/05 @ 13:03
#46
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smelly you are a sad sad boy
Talha
23/11/05 @ 13:05
#47
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@Smelly: You are looking rather sad, bro. No one is actually a fan of any console - we all are fans of the STYLES of games our consoles offer. XBox offers games close in style to PC games (largely), PS2 offers a whole range thanks to its huge installed base, ranging from downright stupid to unparalleled brilliance. We all get quality shooters and racers and simulators and sports games between these two.

Now don't complain, you asked for it: What does GC offer? Mario Kart for our racing pleasure? Mario Smash Football as a footy sim? Not that these games are bad in themselves - the worst part is your sick insistence that only the types of games offered by Ninty are any fun.

And if it is so, why GC sales are so pathetic? Why the newbie XBox beat the mighty Ninty? Chances are, people wanted serious, engaging, deep gaming experiences to go with their consoles without Mario staring them in the face. Just look at the likes of Halo, PGR, GT, SotC, MGS - nothing on GC matches these games.

So laugh at us all you want - it is even funnier with your Nintendogged insistence that only games with tiny characters, primary color palletes, plink-plonk sound effects are funny. This attitude is in fact so funny, it is not even funny anymore, just sad.

Having praised Ninty's originality and bravery elsewhere, I categorically state that I am all for Ninty's style of games. It is just that they are not the only game in town, as you seem to believe.

Laugh all you want, but you will laugh alone. If you don't believe me, keep reading these comments. Here it comes. EDIT: It is a pity the thread has gone so long that many people will miss your real juvenile mindset. I just hope they see your post at least.
Edited 1 times, most recently on 23/11/05 @ 13:20
weaselrat
23/11/05 @ 13:12
#48
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I have all the current gens and have to agree with Talha!
Smelly you are obviously a ninty fan boy! I love my game cube but more hardcore gamers use PC's / Xboxs and on the whole(not entirely) most gamecube games of late have been more about short term fun than suck you in and spit you out longterm gameplay!
Edited 1 times, most recently on 23/11/05 @ 13:13
Hog-lumps
23/11/05 @ 13:22
#49
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\glances at latest comments

Oh guys, does this really have to decend into a 'my consoles better than yours' debate?
Talha
23/11/05 @ 13:23
#50
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@Hog lumps: Look again. It is not really that, and even if it sounds like it look how it got started.

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